On Mother’s Day 2019, I got the courage to share one of my crystal experiences with my family. I was scared, as I had believed a certain perception of who they were and how they would react. However, with a bit of help from my newly favorite (just bought that morning!) hallelujah quartz and a big nudge from the Holy Spirit, I shared the story of how these two diopside palm stones came to our family. My family didn’t react as I feared they might and instead even added more to the story! Afterwards, my mother emailed asking me to write the story down so she could keep it with her diopside. It was exactly the invitation I needed to really open up and share exactly how these, and other, crystals have become so important to me. What follows is transcribed from the 10 pages of handwritten letter addressed to my mom. This is a story of coincidences too perfect to be accidental, a story of intuition and belief, a story of healing.
Mom,
I am happy to write this beautiful story down for you — and a bit more than what I shared on Mother’s Day 2019. While this may seem like a string of coincidences, in truth, I know it to be so much more than that. It’s a story of a not-so-young woman finally owning her special gifts and finding her way back to God.
For a long time I have had these hunches or intuition — some big, some small. Some I listened to, some i didn’t. Yet always when I ignored them, unfortunate things have happened — accidents, painfully stepping on a toy, losing an earring. For the past two years, as I’ve “cleaned up” my life with the food I consume, detoxing chemicals from cleansers, soaps, makeup, etc, I have been going through an emotional detox as well. It’s made me more aware, in tune, balanced in my own body. And with my body freed of the “clutter” and “noise” of toxins, I hear and feel those little urgings of my intuition more. I’m learning to pay attention and act in the moment instead of intellectually explaining it away or talking myself out of it. This experience is further evidence, another lesson, reminding me to listen and act next time — no questions or logic.
One Sunday in early 2019, I was visiting the Marina Farmer’s Market in Long Beach at PCH and 2nd. A crystal shop owner who I’ve purchased from before was there and I wanted to see her new goodies from the large Tuscon Show. At her booth, I collected a bunch of discounted clearance crystals and began checking out. As she wrote up my invoice, my eye kept being drawn to a small bowl with green palm stones. I’d never seen or felt them before, but they really had grabbed my attention. “Pretty.” I thought as I turned them over in my hand while reading their sign. Diopside $14. Brings Healing, Forgiveness & Trust. Brings Creativity. Healing stone for surgery, trauma & cancer. “Hmm, I don’t need this,” I told myself in my head. “I don’t know anyone with cancer.” And I left them there. I might have picked them up, but they were $14 while I was there for $4 bargains that day. I left, happy with my purchases, went to church and went on with my day.
Then a few hours later, that evening, you called.
I will never forget that phone call, when you told me you had been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. The first thing that popped into my mind the instant that “cancer” came out of your mouth was a vision of the green stones in that glass bowl. I set the it aside, the thought of premonition, and focused on what you said. Afterwards, I went to Steve and let him hold me as tears slid down my face. I was overcome with emotions — concern for you and also the realization that someone or something beyond my own logic understanding hand told me something important, something most people don’t even come close to experiencing, and I had explained it away, denied it — again.
Only now, as I write this, do I realize the truth. I said, “No,” to buying the diopside because I was there to get bargains — but, in truth, the Holy Spirit just used the sale as the “bait” to get me where I needed to be so she could do a miracle. (And I realize now, yesterday, she did it again — I thought I was there at that market booth for Hallelujah Quartz and really she was introducing me to smokey amethyst phantom, sulfur quartz and nuumite.)
So a few weeks after our phone call, I returned to the same market, to the Shiny Happy Spirit House booth, and bought a few more crystals, including two diopside palms — one for you and one for me. I shared the story with Anais, the owner, and she was so moved, she decided to gift both of the diopside stones to us, free of charge. It was such a sweet gesture! She put them in a special bag and set it on the table while she wrapped up and rung up the other crystals. Now, I noticed the diopside bag was on her display table, separate from where she was working, and I had the thought, “we better remember they are there, or I’ll forget them!” We kept chatting, I grabbed my bag and walked away. I stopped by another booth, talking rocks with another vendor, and then decided to turn back and head for my car. I passed Anais’ booth and felt a tug to say one last goodbye, but she was talking with other customers, so I kept walking. I drove home and went to church. When I left the service, I checked my phone to see I had received a message from Anais — I had left the diopside.
Now, I believe things happen for a reason. You see, its not the first time a stone hasn’t made it home with me and I’ve learned that it all happens for a reason. What is meant to be, will be. If there is some “mix up” then the universe is trying to tell me something — I’m learning to listen. So, I told Anais to resell the diopside — maybe that’s why she didn’t charge me for them — no refund necessary. She would have none of it, she was saving them for us.
Weeks went by.
Life continued.
I was doing some readings on auras, light and energy that surrounds people. An experience I had led me to a book. I’d been craving a type of dark citrine, keeping it with me while I slept and I suddenly wondered if or how it related my auric field. it mentioned yellow as an antidote for violet auras (which totally makes sense with my intuition and spiritual journey I’ve been on) and listed violane as a healing stone for it as well. I know A LOT about crystals and I’d never heard of it before. So I did some research — some times they are just “trade” names or English instead of American names — but this is a truly unique stone that can go by another name — blue diopside. I saw it as a sign! That’s why I left the green (much more common) diopside — I needed the rarer blue kind. Off to Etsy I went in search of it — and only found two shops that sold it. One in Russia and the other in Greece. I saw a unique two-tone blue and green diopside piece and fell in love. I could think of NOTHING else but getting this stone. So I did. Then I made a necklace out of it.
That was the end of the story. Or so I thought.
More weeks passed.
(Blog readers: good news, my mom’s diagnosis was not accurate, she only had stage 1! She had her procedures in March and they got everything!)
At the end of April, I saw a post from Anais saying she had been spirit guided to drive 500 miles to visit an estate sale of a mine owner, where she had found amazing high vibrational crystals called hallelujah quartz. The moment I saw its picture, I felt drawn to it — just like the violane from Greece. While I felt connected to it, it was expense and I wanted to touch and feel its energy before investing in it. I reached out to Anais and asked her to bring it to the next market, but she was still on out of town and I’d have to wait till the May 12th market. Patiently (okay, no so patiently) I waited. When I realized that 5/12 was Mother’s Day, I told Steve to get me nothing, as I was planning on treating myself to this very special crystals. It felt like perfect timing. And I thought about the diopside. I told myself, “its a gift, so no harm if I bring it home,” and yet it was left for a reason. I resigned myself to be in the moment, to feel them and to listen to the Holy Spirit, to see what she wanted me to do.
Mother’s Day finally came and I traveled to the Marina Farmer’s Market to find the Shiny Happy Spirit House booth. Anais was so, well, herself — connected, genuine, attuned and grounded. She showed me many things, I listed to what my intuition and Holy Spirit said and ended up with much more than I had planned. Which I feel was God’s plan. I had remembered what happened before and gave myself permission to be in the moment and not use my brain to limit my spirit and my connection to the Divine. It led me to more stones which I know are impactful on this next part of my spiritual journey — nuuminite, calcite, sulfer quartz, smoky amethyst (and let me tell you: amethyst and I have NOT gotten along well in the past). Driving to church, I retrieved one of the hallelujah quartz I had just bought, cleaned it and said a prayer over it. I wanted to keep it with me during church service. It’s hard to for me to express how I felt on that drive, holding that quartz. It felt serene, strong — yet gentle, happy, but not excited. It felt like home — peace, love, belonging and knowing oneself. As I drove, in my head I got all kinds of ideas of how to BE next. Blogging, telling my story, how to stop censoring myself, to stop hiding my light and the amazing experiences I have. And the big “coming out” event? Sharing this diopside story at our Mother’s Day BBQ. Because if I can’t fully be me — visions, premonitions and energy sensing — with my family, how can I EVER do it authentically with others?
So, as you opened your gift, a pretty green stone, I took a deep breath and started to share these stories. In person, I wasn’t able to go the depth of this letter, and yet, I felt everyone at the table connected with my spoken words. Baba, mentioning our Ukrainian blood. Grandpa Denny, feeling the stone in his hand. And of course, you, wide-eyed, exclaiming that you’d never heard of diopside before today — and it had been a clue in your word search puzzle that you had been doing when guests arrived.
Coincidence?
To other’s it might seem so.
To us, we know the truth. God working through the Holy Spirit to bring healing to our lives. Not just of your cancer, but, dare I say, even more importantly, healing my relationship with my family. I saw how Denny held the stone, and I had thought of inviting him to see al my other stones. It opened my eyes, heart and memories, it made me realize it may be more about my Cherokee heritage than Ukrainian. And I got to be with your mother, hopefully bringing her some healing and relief as well. And us. We have a good relationship on the surface, but I’ve been holding back, hiding so many big spiritual experiences that I’ve been having, from you and Dad. I would test the waters, use different terminology and see how you’d react. Today, when I got your email, asking for me to retell the story, so you can have it documented in my own words, I knew this was the moment. God’s invitation to let me shine, my whole light, the whole story, with you.
And it’s not just me.
You are a part of the story, too.
Your recollection of the word search — you made this story even richer and more meaningful. This story is too rich and meaningful to let it end here. I plan to make copies of this letter to share. I want to remember it myself and share it with Steve. I want to share it with Anais so she might feel the joy of being a messenger on this journey. Feel free to share it as well. With Dad, with your parents, with whomever you feel called by the Holy Spirit to share it with.
I believe we heal ourselves by healing others. Let’s not withhold our own healing because we are afraid of the negative possibilities in perceptions of others. That’s what I’ve learned from this series of events.
Listen, act, be, share.
Love you, Mom.
<3 Jenn
That’s my challenge to you as well, reader. Listen to your intuition, act on those seemingly random nudges, be in the moment and then share your experiences. Share them, and even this story if you feel called, not to get likes or page hits, but to spread the message of coincidences too perfect to be accidental, the belief in the power of intuition, and to spread healing, in any form it takes.
Now, go listen, act, be and share.